Courtship Now: Courtship during the College Years
Kimberly hahn has an excellent advice on christian courtship to find single man in her tape series, dr. Lighthouse series, church teachings, and. What elements are essential during dating and courtship to discern whether you are wife of Dr. Scott Hahn, shares rich insight gained from many years of bible . Do they just do things in groups when some young man asks for a date? Obviously they won't be Yours in Christ,. Debbie . Kimberly Hahn has an excellent tape series entitled: Courtship and Dating: A Catholic Perspective. She is The series is filled with excellent advice, sound wisdom and good humour. I highly.
Dear Debbie, Thanks for your excellent questions addressing the practical side to this whole courtship issue. As parents we are certainly charting unknown and sometimes hostile territories as we direct our children into courtship.
Though past generations have practiced family-centered courtship, we are living in a different time with many obstacles to overcome — not the least of which is the sense of isolation our children may feel when we ask them to do something so counter-cultural.
Courtship is a very counter-cultural challenge and there a very few models yet for our children to look up to.
They will be setting a standard for generations to come as they turn their backs on the dating mentality which is so pushed at them by our society. The number one thing, I believe, is to convince our children while they are young that courtship is something that THEY want to do, because THEY will be bearing the burden of it in their own lives!
Once parents and children are on the same page, sorting out the details of courtship within your family becomes much easier! Your question pertains to the specific situation of living away from home at college.
How do we make courtship work in this situation?The Reformation's Effect on the Family with Kimberly Hahn
What I have to offer you are some ideas to consider. Boys and girls are not in isolation from each other at college — and I believe that is a good thing. There are some wonderful young people out there and many good marriages have blossomed out of the relationships formed during the college years.
However, there is also the potential for distraction and problems in this new stage of independence for our children. It is very possible for them to get so caught up in socializing and the desire for romance while on campus that they dangerously neglect their studies.
I think the best safeguard is to challenge our children to consider pursuing friendships in college and to keep relationships at that level while they are not yet ready to consider marriage.
There are many things young men and women can learn about each other through fostering good friendships during the college years.
Not only will this allow them to have fun without the stresses of steady dating, but these friendships will offer them an excellent way to consider what they are looking for in a future spouse. And it could very well be that one of those friendships will blossom into that special romance that leads to marriage.
The virtue of friendship, developed before courtship, is a wonderful gift for a young couple. Marriage is more than just romance — there are many ways in which a couple must be able to get along, resolve conflict, make decisions and share dreams.
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These are skills a couple can learn through friendship. So, how do they keep their heads about them when so many other people are doing the dating thing?
I believe it all comes down, ultimately, to trusting in God — that He has a perfect plan for our lives. Our children have to believe that God will bring that perfect someone into their lives when they are ready for marriage! But I do think that it is the lost ingredient for many young people and the reason why so many cling to steady dating at a young age.
Should all dating be off limits during those campus years? There are times when going out one-on-one with a boy will be very appropriate for your daughter. There could be a banquet or dance to attend together. There might be a movie that they are both interested in and want to take in together. But going out on the odd date does not have to lead to steady dating. Young people need to be convinced that their value lies in who they are as children of God and that they do not need a steady boyfriend or girlfriend to validate their identity in any way!
The big challenge will come when they are faced with being attracted romantically to someone and yet they are trying to convince themselves that friendship is really the best thing at this stage in life. The more dates they go out on with the same person, the harder they will find it to stick to friendship and not allow themselves to become emotionally attached.
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