Self-Harm Scars and Dating, Sex and Intimacy | HealthyPlace
There are things about dating a woman who has self-harmed that are a little different It just takes diligence and an understanding partner. Once the scars had faded enough to where I felt comfortable, you couldn't stop me. Why I Made My Self-Injury Scars Visible In My Online Dating Profile . and asked me to explain but they thought my past was a non-issue. I am dating a woman who has those. I'm sure a quality guy will be understanding. Of course I would date a girl who had self harm scars.
This does not mean that those people are bad people or not worth our time.
There are many reasons someone might not choose to date someone with self-harm scars, most of which are not related to vanity.
The good news is, a lot of people — especially casual partners — will not mind the scars too much. In these cases, you may not feel the need to bring the issue up at all. If you do feel the need, or if your partner asks, you could say that the scars are from self-harm without going into detail. Another option is to make up another explanation for the scarswhich either the partner will believe or take as a cue that this is not something you would like to discuss.Should you show your self harm scars?
Self-Harm Scars and Serious Relationships In a more serious relationship, or a relationship that seems as though it has the potential to be serious, you may feel that you want to talk to your partner about your self-harm scars more in-depth. That's just not true.
Many many men and women of all ages self harm, and statistics show that if you're in a developed country 1 in 3 people will self harm at some point in your life.
So if you go to school in a class of thirty students, maybe 10 of them are hurting themselves. So why self harm? People self harm for all manner of reasons, but one of the most common is to turn emotional pain which they don't know how to deal with into physical pain, which they do know how to deal with.
Another reason might be to "punish" themselves, often for crimes known only to themselves. Why does this affect me? Well, for all you know one of those 10 classmates could be your best friend.
And one of the things that hurt me the most was when I finally gathered the courage to tell one of my friends and they reacted in completely the wrong way, and caused a lot of trouble and friction between us. She assumed that I was mentally unstable, that I was trying to kill myself, and that the only way to handle the situation was to never let me near anything sharp ever again.
How To Date A Woman With A Self-Harming Past – KitschMix
It didn't help, all it did was make me more secretive and thereby more dangerous to myself. If anyone out there is considering self harm at the moment, I understand what you're going through, but I urge you to use CLEAN tools, and to wash and dress any wounds as soon as possible afterwards.
I'm not condoning self harm in any way, but if it's going to happen then it should be made as "safe" as possible, just like recreational drug use, if it's going to be done, is something someone should educate themselves about the safety of. I understand that many of you will be confused, that you're wondering why anyone would want to to hurt themselves and then try to make it better by putting on a plaster. But self-harm often isn't about the long term pain, but about the emotional release at that individual time.
I've even heard of people spacing out during the act of self harming and not realizing what they've done until they came back round. I want to look at this at a different approach though: Fading scars are a huge deal. It might seem like something really silly, but most of us are very self-conscious about any scars that might have come from our self-harming.
Personally, I never wore shorts in public until I was around 23 — I hid my cutting on my thighs so that I could control who saw them. But bringing attention to the cuts is sort of awkward. Another person who cares about them and nurtures them will kiss each one of the scars.
“When Should I Tell Men About My Scars From Cutting?”
In theory, this is a really sweet idea, since it feels like you care enough to try and erase them. But especially if there are a lot of scars, it will feel really awkward to have you personally recognize each one.
We know what you mean. For some of us, there may be a sexual thrill associated with self-harming. In some extreme cases, it might be necessary for you to get us help.