Read about Ten Keys to Successful Dating and Marriage Relationships by Pinnock, Hugh W. and see the artwork, lyrics and similar artists. There's all kinds of advice out there about teenage dating. Here are the Biblical principles that should guide your Christian dating decisions. Updated March 10 , you're young, and you should date a lot of people before you get married. You see certain “role models” jumping from one dating relationship to another. Independence was rated 'extremely important' in a marriage. In order to be happy in a relationship, we must be happy first. That is, in fact, the key to a successful.
Characteristics Of A Godly Marriage (1 Peter –7) | viajeras.info
Sad to say, many of the women in the church have become like this as well. Their focus is their bodies and their appearance, instead of the inward man. They spend more time every day on their outward man—their makeup, their clothes, their hair—instead of working on their inward man.
This shows their idolatry. They run around seeking plastic surgeries because of being consumed with their outside adornment. Instead of being transformed by the Word of God. They are being conformed and pressed into the mold of the world Romans Wealthy women would often wear their hair up high with tons of jewels wrapped in it. Today, many marriages are also consumed with signs of wealth. They want to show their wealth by having the most expensive car, the most luxurious TV sets and the nicest homes.
Like the world, they are consumed with the external, and they want everybody to see and know what they have.
A godly marriage is not like this. It is a marriage focused around God and developing the inward man to please God. Peter says a godly wife is not like this. She clothes herself like ancient godly women as seen in Sarah, who called her husband, Abraham, master.
He focuses on two particular attitudes of a godly wife: How should these be demonstrated not only in the life of the woman but the life of the man? It was used of a wild horse that had been broken and now was tamed. Instead of blowing up over issues, she is calculative. She bears up under hardship and is gentle in her responses. She is Christ-like, who was also described as gentle and meek in spirit Matt She is also quiet.
This also looks back at the temptation of the woman to change her husband by her incessant words and probably complaints 1 Pet 3: She instead restrains her words. Solomon describes a person who restrains his words as wise. Listen to what he says in Proverbs She is gentle and meek--in control of her emotions and especially her anger. She is reserved in the use of her words. This demonstrates her wisdom. But let us hear these are traits to be practiced not only by the woman but to be practiced by the husband as well.
He is meek, in control of his emotions and his anger, and practices restraint with his words. The Christian home is not superficial, concerned with the outward appearance. They are not consumed with the external appearance in their clothes, makeup, or skin. The secular home is consumed with these things, but not the godly home. Let it be known that this focus on the outward appearance is a major struggle for many families including Christian ones.
The number one reason for divorce is finances. But not the godly home.
15 Key Secrets To A Successful Marriage
The godly home is totally consumed with the inside. In fact, they choose not to store up riches because it protects their heart Matt 6: The godly home protects their heart from worshiping things of this world by not storing up the wealth of this world because it has a tendency to steal their heart and crowd out the Word of God as Christ taught Matt If their treasure is clothes, cars, phones, electronics, etc.
The godly home is all about the inside. How can she protect herself from being conformed into the value system of the world? How can Christians marriages protect themselves from this shallow focus on the external?
In a Godly Marriage, the Husband Knows His Wife Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. Many have wondered if Peter gave so much attention to the woman because the majority of people in these churches were actually women.
It is true that women have typically been the most spiritual partners in marriages. They are typically the ones most involved in serving. As pastors, we often watch the wives from the pulpit who are intently watching and listening, while the husbands are struggling to stay awake during service. This shows part of the reason the church, the home, and our society are in such a poor state.
Not many men are willing to step up and lead like Christ in the home and in society by setting a righteous example. There is a tremendous need to restore biblical manhood in the church, where men are assertive in leading spiritually.
I often tell my wife if I was one of the single girls on a college campus these days, most likely I would just stay single. There are so few men who are willing to be spiritual leaders. I remember leading a Lifestyle Discipleship School one semester at the university, which started every weekday morning at 7: We had like twenty people, and only three to five of them were guys. This is a commentary on the church.
There is a tremendous lack of male spiritual leadership in the church. We will actually pull several points out of this one verse. In this verse, he gives men a secret on how to love and better serve their wives. Listen again to 1 Peter 3: What is one of the things a husband must do to develop a godly marriage? He must develop a knowledge base. What is this knowledge base? There are several types of knowledge the husband must cultivate.
The husband should intently study his wife. He needs to learn her likes and her dislikes so he can better minister to her. I will share a little about one of the things I have learned about my wife. My wife is a hard worker, and she is very empathetic with people. She cares for others. But because of this, she sometimes takes on too much of a load, whether it is meeting with people or cooking for them. One of the ways I have learned to love her is by protecting her. We are going to order out.
I know she really likes it if I do things around the house. I could see the pattern that would lead toward frustration but never really responded to it, which in turn brought frustration in the marriage. Now I am a veteran of over seven years and I have learned to better understand her rhythms and my rhythm. How else does the husband dwell with his wife according to knowledge? I think this is one of the things that is implied by this knowledge the husband must have.
If he is going to be godly husband, he must not only know his wife but Scripture as well and relate to his wife on the basis of Scripture. Listen to Ephesians 5: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless emphasis mine.
One of the things the husband must do in serving his wife is study the Word of God with her, teach her the Word of God, and also help her apply it so she can be without stain or wrinkle. He needs to wash her blemishes, her insecurities.
He must build her up in the inner person so she can fulfill all that God has called her to do. The husband plays the role of Christ. In the same way, Christ equips the church to serve through the Word of God, he calls the husband to do that with his wife.
The husband must dwell with his wife according to the knowledge of Scripture. The husband needs to learn and study Scripture in order to be obedient to God.
He may apply this knowledge by leading in family devotions, taking the family to a Bible-preaching church, and simply exhorting the wife and children to daily holiness. This is very important for young single women to understand so that as they search for a husband, they will look for a man who is a spiritual leader. I know the pickings are slim. The world can give you a husband, but a godly spouse is a gift from the Lord. Listen to Proverbs Look for someone that knows the Word and teaches it not only with their mouths but with their lives.
This is also a call for young men to prepare themselves. What else is the man called to do? What are some unique things that you have learned about your spouse that help you better serve him or her? How can you be more faithful in serving him your spouse?
In a Godly Marriage, a Husband Needs to Dwell with His Wife Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers emphasis mine.
This is very important to say because many homes fail specifically on this issue. The husband is not at home. He is not at home because of work; he is not at home because of pleasure. He is not at home because at home there is stress. One of the things that is needed for a godly marriage is for the husband to dwell with his wife.
Often in our society the job demands have become almost unreasonable. Satan is the ruler of this world, the ruler of this wicked age, and he knows what he is doing. In some jobs, it is almost impossible for a husband to be at home, and that includes the pastorate. One of the reasons pastor kids and missionary kids have such bad reputations is because many times, the fathers, the pastors, are not around. They are too busy doing ministry. Look, it is impossible to be a good pastor without being a good husband and a father 1 Tim 3: And in order to do this, men must be at home.
In fact, this is something I have seen a lot in the church, since I served as a youth pastor for seven years. Listen to what Paul said in Ephesians 6: Paul tells the fathers to not push the children to wrath but to train them in the instruction of the Lord.
In order to train them in the instruction of the Lord, the father has to be around. One of the main ways a child is provoked to wrath is because fathers are not home. Many of these children grow up not really knowing their father because he was never around, and therefore, they grow up with a tremendous anger.
We are raising an angry generation of children. And as you know, children whose fathers are not around are more prone to divorce, crime, abuse, depression, suicide, etc. Now practically this may mean changing careers or having a lesser level of living. A lot of these jobs today will not let you be home. Our churches are so far away from God they, in a sense, demand for pastors to not be good fathers or husbands.
I want to honor God before I honor any church or job. Even unbelievers care for their family. A characteristic of a godly marriage is the husband being home, dwelling with his wife and kids.
How do you think godly single women should respond to this drought? What about vice versa? In a Godly Marriage, Couples Honor Their Differences Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner. What does he mean by weaker vessel? In general, men are stronger physically than women and also sometimes emotionally.
The husband must honor these differences, rather than beleaguering them, which is very common in marriage. One of the ways this often plays out in marriage is that husbands and wives look upon these differences with disdain. In one sense, the husband tries to make the woman more masculine like he is. The wife tries to make the husband more feminine. Why does Peter tell the husbands to be more considerate about the wives and not vice versa?
If God calls the brick and the vase to dance, which vessel is typically going to get hurt? Many times marriage is like this. The brick is constantly hurting the vase. They have a different structure, and therefore, the brick needs to be delicate in how he handles the vase. My wife and I like to banter over stuff like the milk expiration date. My wife likes to throw away the milk the day the milk is past the date.
I want to eat the leftovers that have been in the fridge for a week, and my wife wants to throw them away. We are different in many ways. We even see this in parenting styles. My wife is a woman and is very delicate with the baby, delicate with her eating, and of course, I am not. I was throwing Saiyah in the air the first week she was born. I was doing flips with her. We have learned to respect and honor our differences. I like to sneak Saiyah ice cream when Momma is not around.
These may be bad illustrations that show how crazy I really am, but God has given males and females different vessels, and it affects how we interact with other people and our environment. For many marriages, these differences are a source of constant conflict. We need to honor the delicateness or the strength of the other vessel. Some things that would not bother you emotionally will probably bother your mate.
Males and females are different, and these differences must be honored. It should be noted that the word respect in the NIV is not strong enough. Most commentators would argue for the word honor as in the ESV. Husbands must not only respect their wives but honor them. The word respect is not a strong enough word in 1 Peter 3: Take time to enjoy the activities they enjoy.
Maybe the husband will go shopping with the wife or watch the Home TV Network. Thank them for what they do. We need to show appreciation daily for our spouses and their differences. What type differences commonly cause conflict between males and females, especially in marriage? How have you dealt with these differences in the past? In a Godly Marriage, Couples Experience Unhindered Powerful Prayer Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers emphasis mine.
If this is true, the implication is that the husband and wife are expected to have a corporate prayer life. They are praying individually and praying corporately. And when they are walking in unity with one another, God is answering their prayers. They pray for souls to be saved together, people to be healed, finances to come in to help people, and this godly couple is seeing answers to their prayers.
This should be what we see in the life of a godly couple all the time. Listen to what Christ said: Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them. This is one of the greatest things I have found about marriage. It has increased and strengthened my prayer life. Marriage is a powerful union, in part, because of the power of corporate prayer that comes with it.
For that reason, Peter warns that strife in a relationship actually hinders the prayers of a couple; it makes their prayers ineffective. We see this principle generally taught throughout Scripture. Listen to what David said in Psalms Look what Paul said in Ephesians 4: Then why do we sometimes try to take that freedom away from those we love so much? A loving wife of many years shared with me one of the secrets of her beautiful marriage.
As you know, he is a busy businessman, a bishop, and a father. In turn, he helps me reach my potential. She later served as a counselor in two auxiliary presidencies. She had a little place in their home where she could sew and where she painted lovely paintings and wrote beautiful poetry. He felt comfortable in going fishing, lowering his golf score, doing some painting himself, and growing in ways that interested him.
Neither of these marriage partners was being smothered by a selfish mate. And as you think about that eventual responsibility that you will have of raising children, keep that concept in mind. If you will give them gobs of freedom, almost beyond logic sometimes, they will grow in precious ways that will give them the confidence to do what needs to be done. They are interested in one another, and yet they set each other free to grow and mature—never free to flirt, but free to take on new challenges and to pursue new interests.
Jealousy is a subtle form of bondage and is the most smothering of human passions. We must allow each other plenty of room for personal growth and expression. When both partners are able to develop their talents and interests, the marriage is less likely to suffer from boredom and narrowness. Paying compliments Sixth, compliment each other sincerely and often, just as you do or will do during the dating period.
He gets so much attention from others that he needs to be brought down a peg or two. He gets too big for his britches. Every husband needs a wife who will build him up, and every wife needs a husband to honor and to respect her.
Building each other with sincere compliments is never a sign of weakness. It is the right thing to do. Anyone who can contemplate kneeling at an altar, participating in an eternal ordinance—or those who have—can certainly find lovely things to say about a partner.
So often in those stressful circumstances where divorce has occurred, I will hear comments such as this from a divorced man or woman: How I wish he or she would come back. The loneliness is unbearable. I neglected to tell him or her so many things. Oh, if only I had let her or him know how good she or he was in so many ways. What a fool I was! I could never learn to compliment and to build.
Ten Keys to Successful Dating and Marriage Relationships - BYU Speeches
I was always pointing out her or his mistakes. I want to tell them to quit their sarcasm and instead to encourage each other. We all tend to become the persons described in the compliments that our spouses and friends pay us. We will do almost anything to live up to the compliments and encouragements of a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a proud wife or husband.
Let me tell you a story about a man who received his PhD from this institution. We had known this person for a number of years. He married later than many, and as we watched him relate with a young woman, we wondered if she could keep up; we wondered if she had the capacity to understand life as he had learned it because he was more than several years older. Then, as we observed that couple at social functions and elsewhere, we saw that he would take time to carefully instruct her.
As he returned from classwork, he would bring home books for her to read and to study. As they took long walks, they were constantly teaching each other. What a beautiful marriage and what a lovely family they now have because they have taken the time to compliment and to build each other! They are serving now in the mission field together, there because of his sensitivity and because of her sensitivity, there because they desire to build one another. Talking Openly As a seventh recommendation, in dating or in marriage, never resort to the silent treatment.
Always be open and straightforward with each other. Too often we may respond to tensions by clamming up or by taking a walk.
A young wife in the southwest corner of Salt Lake County asked me to talk with her husband. He just walks out the door. He can go on for days or even a week or two without saying a word. Let me work it out by myself. What is marriage if it is not sharing and helping one another through crises?
Keep the door to your heart open. The times when we shut others out are often the times when we need their help the most. Of course we need times of privacy, to think alone. Of course we need time to pray and to meditate. And we should understand and respect these needs in others. However, we should never be inconsiderate or unappreciative of a concerned husband or wife who is trying to help at a time of trouble and discouragement.
Even when cheating has occurred, we must be willing, under most circumstances, to accept their true repentance. Thousands of marriages have survived the most critical problems and have been successful only because godly sorrow for sin was followed by Christlike forgiveness.
A woman was referred to my office for a blessing for the restoration of her health. She had been ill for seven years. She had had exploratory surgery three times, had been in the hospital a number of times, and had switched doctors more often than annually. And I declined to give her a blessing when the Spirit said there was nothing wrong physically. Brothers and sisters, you can imagine what an awkward position I found myself in, having to say no. She had not been pleased with his behavior and had carried with her a scarred heart, emotions that had been disrupted and confused, and she was bitter.
Now wait just a minute, Elder Pinnock. About ten days later the telephone rang. I have thought a great deal about it since then, and I believe that is your problem. Confiding Only in the Bishop or Branch President Ninth, remember never to turn to a third party in time of marital trouble except to your bishop or branch president.
In sensitive and inspired ways he will direct you to a competent counselor if that is what is needed. Someone is always ready and eager to consult a hurting wife or husband, and when marriage partners have no one to talk with at home, unfortunately, too often they seek a friend elsewhere.
And that, dear brothers and sisters, is where almost all adultery has its origin. It can happen in the neighborhood, in a ward choir, at the office, or anywhere else. Secret affairs begin innocently enough just by talking about mutual hurts, but then comes a dependency period that too often ends in transferring loyalty and affection, followed by adultery.
Never ever, never ever, confide your marriage troubles to a third party, no, not even to your closest friend. He or she may be the first to tell your troubles to another, becoming the one to hurt you most severely. Lean on the Savior and rely upon your bishop and your stake president. Remember that because, as the years quickly come and go, there will be stressful times when you will need to talk to someone.
Remember who it should be. The system which the Lord has given us is simple. Having Fun Tenth, have clean, wholesome fun during your dating years and retain the same joy in marriage.
God intends for us to find joy in life. Man is that he might have joy. Most marriages begin with joy, and those that succeed retain it. Last Thanksgiving we went up to Bear Lake. We have a little farm home there. My wife and I began a tickling contest. I am a world-class tickler. I am one of the greatest ticklers that has ever lived. Well, as we were laughing and giggling, in came the children. Soon they joined in and we had a great time.
When a marriage loses its happiness, it becomes weak and vulnerable. Find a happy home, and you will find a joyful couple at the helm. Husbands and wives who no longer laugh and play together are losing their fondness for each other and perhaps even their capacity to stay together. True love includes a joyful, almost childlike quality. In other words, live it up—righteously.